I am a 36 year old woman who may not live in "The Big City" but I like the little city I live in and there is a lot that goes on around here too! This is a place where anything can happen..or be written about!!!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Happy Birthday To Me ;)

OMG!! I am turing 36 this week ...am I even allow to say OMG at my age ;)

Well instead of an interview of a fabulous person doing outstanding things....I will be "interviewing" myself this week.  ;)

 I guess the reason I wanted to write this post is that I am kind of reflecting/ freaking out about turning 36, and I am sure others have been in my shoes :) It's amazing how fast time goes by, I guess I need to learn how to appreciate it more! Let's just say birthdays are not as much as fun as they use to be when I was a kid, but then again why shouldn't you celebrate yourself, and enjoy it even if it means getting "older".

Every year since I was in my early twenties I have written in my diary about what I have liked about the year I had (to keep life in a positive perspective), and I also write what I would like to see for my future for the upcoming year. Then I look back at the previous diary entry from the year before to see if I obtained any of the goals I set for myself. I always seem to achieve a few, miss some, and discovered goals I did not think about along the way.

Instead of doing my diary entry this year I am writing it here. I wanted this blog to not only be interviews with interesting people, but also to put myself out there and maybe inspire others to do the same. Some people believe privacy is important, and I do agree with that to a point. I also believe we can learn from each other, and the only way to do that is to share. I am putting my thoughts out there that I want to share, and it's your choice to read them or not. You can agree or disagree with me, that's not important. I think what is important is talking and sharing with each other. I have learned a lot from others, and I have always been fascinated with people's stories, so I figured might as well share  some of mine too ;)

This past year has been a hard one for me to say the least. 35: I spent half the year on pain medication, so part of it is just a blur and the other half  I spent in pain. I have been angry about the whole "hip situation" and threw a few pity parties for myself. I have been through a lot and until you experience the level of pain I have been in it's hard to understand, even if you want to. I think that even though my 35th year has in someways been defined by my hip, I don't want it to be defined that way in my mind.
This is how I want to remember my 35th year:
 I found out what an incredible support system I have. I am TRULY lucky to have so many people in my life that care about me and want to help me out. I know I am quite fortunate to be this lucky and not everyone is as blessed as me to have this. The people in my life truly made a hard year into a year where I learned what true love and support is all about. I appreciate the people who have been there for me in my life. I am grateful to them more than words could ever express and I hope I can be there for all of them in any way they may need me in their life.

 I learned how to be a stronger person. Life isn't easy if you live long enough. You will have your hard times, but it's the way you handle them is what truly defines your life. I have learned to find strength in places I didn't know I had, it hasn't been easy, but I have to say it makes you feel so empowered to pick yourself up when you are at your lowest. It makes you realize if you can do that you can do anything! To me this lesson has gotten me through some very tough times this year...bottom line..you can't give up hope even when you feel like there is none left (Trust me...I do understand it is easier said than done, but we all have the ability to do this. )

This has also been the year of true self reflection. I thought at this point in my life I would probably be at  different place....married, kids, a successful job...what the world has made me believe that I should have/be at by this point in life. Not to say that all people believe this ,and not to say that the people who are at this stage are not happy, but as my sister said to me "even with all that you have been through you still have more fun than most people I know". I laughed at her when she said this, but in some ways it is true. I may not have the stuff listed above, but those things don't always equal happiness, not to say I don't want it, but if is meant to be it will happen, but in the meantime I am trying not to focus on a number or what I should or should not have. I am trying to just live each day to it's fullest (which isn't always easy, but at least I am trying). Like my sister reminded me even through my hard times I have had a lot of fun/amazing times and experiences in my life too, which again makes me very fortunate. It's nice things to reflect on when times do get tough.

 Even though it's been a difficult year I have also been given the opportunity that most people are not given at my age; a time to think about just myself, to reflect on what will make me happy, and what I want from my life. I am still reflecting, but I am starting to find answers to these questions with all this "time off" I have had. 

 I also have started a new chapter in my life with my boyfriend "D" who I moved in with this year. D has shown me the true meaning of what caring and being in a relationship is all about. He has been there with me through the good and the bad this past year which I know hasn't been all easy,  but he did it without judgement and with a kind and caring hand and heart to lift me up when I truly needed him most. I am so lucky to have him in my life! We make a great team... D has been such an incredible and important part of my 35th year, and I am very happy for that. 

I also became an Auntie for the first time this year! The love I have for my beautiful niece is indescribable. I just look forward to her future and taking part in her life. She has been the shining star of my 35th year!

Plus I started THIS BLOG this year which has been a great place to put my positive energy and focus.  I hope people have been enjoying reading it as much as I enjoy writing it :) Thank you for all the wonderful feedback..I really appreciate it :)

I hope that this year coming up will be the year my hip will finally give me some peace and quiet, so I can move on from it. If it doesn't I hope I can find a way to at least work with it. I hope that I will find a career that I  can enjoy thoroughly as well as make money from. I would like to get involve with charity/volunteer work to help others since so many people have helped me. I want a chance to give something back.  I want to keep working on getting better with age and to keep on learning. I also have some other hopes and dreams for my future year, but maybe I will keep a few to myself...just like a birthday wish ;)

Age is truly just a number and I do have to remind myself that, but that doesn't mean I haven't been getting up in the mornings more recently looking in the mirror to see if wrinkles are forming..I swear I am seeing laugh lines appear..like seriously in the past two weeks...like they know I am turning thirty six...why do I have to smile so much..damn it ;) I am not saying I don't have fears about getting older, but I am trying my best to stay away from that mindset as much as I can, because all I got is the present and what I do with that is most important. I guess in 10 years I will be wishing I was turning 36 and thinking how young that sounds ;) 
In the end we all get older..it's a part of life. As my wise younger sister said to me on one of my birthdays...you have two options. A.You get older B. you die...blunt, but that's it. She has a point, so I guess I go with option A! So cheers to 36..hope it will be my best year yet!

(**Pictures on this post are of me from different birthdays in my life..the last two capture my last week at 35 ;)